We’re All a Little Crazy Sometimes

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We’ve all done it. We see another mom at the park, the restaurant, the museum, the store. Perhaps we see a mother following her child while she climbs on the playground equipment, hand up to make sure she doesn’t fall, or another mom sitting and reading her book while her three kids climb all over the place. Maybe we catch sight of a mama pulling organic avocados out of her bag instead of the chicken nuggets everyone else is eating, or one who subs the veggie option on the children’s menu for more french fries. Possibly we overhear a mother talking about using oils on her child instead of antibiotics, or listen to a friend describe her second trip to the pediatrician this week for a runny nose. We see it; we roll our eyes; we think or whisper to our hubbies, “That’s crazy.”

It’s okay to admit it. We’ve all had those thoughts about different moms, making different choices, at different times. We’ve all looked at our children and thought, “Well, I am making the right choice for MY children. I would NEVER do that.” We’ve all rolled our eyes occasionally and thought that a mom needs to “chill out” when she gets on her crazy soapbox about x, y, or z.

The thing is, we all have our own crazy moments. We all have our own crazy ideas. We all have our own “crazy.”

I’m crazy. My crazy reach is far and wide and includes: fences around backyard pools, minimal screen time, and keeping the house picked up. Ask me about any one of those topics and I will give you an earful. I could write an entire post on each subject and then some. Without a doubt, I believe people roll their eyes when I talk about screen time, or politely nod their heads when I explain why my house is almost always picked up.

With the Internet at our fingertips today and social media constantly giving us new platforms to espouse our superior parenting choices, we no longer hide our crazy. We tell the ENTIRE world about it. Everyone HAS to know why I am making the BEST choice for my children. Obviously if everyone knew what I knew, then they would be making the same choices!

But as mothers, we can’t adopt everyone else’s crazy. That would break us. We are already juggling so much that to be passionate and crazy about every controversial parenting choice would leave us with no time to sleep. (Ha.  Sleep.) No, one of the first lessons you learn as a parent is to pick your battles and choose your crazy.

So what do you do when someone you know, someone you met once three years ago and friended on Facebook, or someone who happens to be sitting next to you at the playground doesn’t agree with your decision on what you feed your child? What does the other mother do when you explain 100 times and post new articles daily espousing their chosen food plan? Here are three things I do to deal with the crazy of mothers I love, and three things I do to make my crazy more bearable for those who love me (or just follow me on Facebook).

For your own crazy:

1. Limit social posts to once a week: Clearly there are tons of articles about how your way is the right way. You don’t need to tell everyone daily. Cherry pick the very best of the best and only share those. Don’t flood your market.

2. State without explaining: It’s snack time at Vacation Bible School and Walmart Fruit Smilies are on the menu. You don’t feed your child artificial dyes. Simply whip out your parentally approved snack and say, “I’d rather he ate these instead.” It’s not ALWAYS the right time to explain your choices.

3. Own it: It’s acceptable to say, “I’m just crazy about _____.” If you know it’s your thing, then own it; recognize that your level of passion is above normal and be satisfied with your choice.

For other people’s crazy:

1. Listen, to an extent: Lend an ear when a friend wants to talk about carseats on airplanes. Read an article on sleep training even if you think it’s cruel. But don’t be afraid to say, “Right, I know it can be dangerous” or to hide a follow-up post. It’s good to stay informed, but bad to be exasperated.

2. Respect their choice: Don’t undermine another parent’s choices with her children. She gets to choose for her kids, you get to choose for yours. You can disagree, but respect the parent’s rules.

3. Recognize you’re the same: Even if you don’t share a person’s crazy, you have your own. Remember, being on team motherhood means the ability to say “Good for her, not for me.”

Motherhood makes you crazy. Overnight you can go from a laid-back, go-with-the-flow individual (okay, I was never that kind of girl, but I know these people exist) to a hypersensitive, researching fiend. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to make the very best choices for our children. After all, the pressure of being responsible for raising another human being would make anyone crazy.

CrazyMoms

4 COMMENTS

  1. Yes yes yes!! Thank you for encouraging us to accept ours and others’ crazies. There was a time when I felt completely overwhelmed by all the battles out there to choose from. I finally came to the relieving realization that I cannot save the world alone.

  2. My favorite quote of yours…”Good for her, not for me.” Love it. Love you too! Miss you friend, thanks for putting up with my crazies! 😉

  3. It’s a good thing that we’re each individually crazy. If we all had the same kind of crazy, our kids wouldn’t have a sense of perspective when it comes to comparing their crazy parents with their friends’ crazy-pants parents.

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