I have a kiddo in pre-kindergarten this year. While he’s been in a two-day preschool program for a couple of years, all of a sudden, this year he’s there three days each week. As someone who had no plans to be a stay at home mother and expected my children would be in childcare during the week while I worked, I have been shocked (shocked!) at how it’s rocking my world to part with him for an additional day each week. I have a case of the preschool blues.
This is uncharacteristic of me. I value education, I know well and love the ladies to whose care he’s been entrusted, and the environment could not be more familiar to him. This is not a bad thing.
And as I’ve watched my friends send off their kids to kindergarten this August, seeing their Facebook posts on what books they’ve read “the night before,” and noted Pinterest pins on “what I wish my teacher knew about my kid,” I am finding myself emotionally unprepared for letting go into the next season of life: five whole days at school. (I should take care to note here: It’s just mama with the issue. Without a doubt, he’ll be ready.) It’s had me reaching for his newborn pictures and looking back at his previous first day of school pics. Like, for real.
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I don’t know if it’s the reality that he’s growing up for real or the loss of control over the other days in his week, but something about it is giving me the blues. Parenting is all about giving a little piece of your heart away each day, and I’m certainly feeling that truth.
All I can say is “Praise the Lord” for giving me a full year to pray that He will prepare my heart for the first day of school next year, when I will present my firstborn, bright-eyed little kindergartener into the wilds of big kid school. In my head, I know it will be awesome, but my heart needs to catch up a bit. By that time, I am trusting we will both be ready.
Otherwise, I may be repeating kindergarten.
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In the meantime, I’ll treasure those two days at home a little more than I did before, and I’ll make the most of one-on-one time with his sister while he’s in his extra day of school and she’s home (she goes the other two days with him). I will take extra special care to embrace the joy in today, since I know these preschool years are drawing to a close much faster than I anticipated. As “they” say, these are the days.
For today, I’ve been background checked and approved to be a volunteer at FWISD schools, specifically for the one he’ll attend next year. I figure it can’t hurt to learn my way around a little early, plus the school gets a new volunteer. Wins all around!