One of those “awwww” inspiring moments in a wedding is when small, adorable children walk, toddle, skip, or run down the aisle ahead of the bride. At my own wedding, my little flower girl walked hand-in-hand with her brother down the aisle, turned around when she reached the altar, and curtsied to the guests. We still tell that story — and she’s in middle school now!
These moments are brought to you by brides and grooms with visions of picture perfect children joining in their big day. They are also brought to you by the parents in the back of church, who have been juggling feeding, sleeping, and bathing schedules in order to bring you those mostly agreeable, fairly rested, and somewhat clean and shiny children.
My children have been in more demand than I have in our past few family weddings. It’s a fun way to be involved in a wedding without upping the bridesmaid count (and avoiding the bridesmaid responsibilities). However, when you agree to put your littles on display, it’s always good to think about all the factors!
Age is one of my first considerations. If your kids are older, you should consult them. Will they feel comfortable being part of the big day and having attention on them? If they are younger, think about their stamina to last through the ceremony AND pictures (y’all, Catholic weddings are LONG), in addition to considering what happens if the rehearsal or wedding occurs during that sacred naptime. Can your little one really make it down the aisle with everyone watching?
My twins were about 20 months old when they made their ring bearer debut. In case you were wondering, 20 months old is a push when it comes to walking down the aisle duties. We took a leaf from Pavlov’s book and gave the two best men M&M’s the day before the wedding. Any time we saw them, we sent the boys to them, and they were rewarded with M&M’s. Showtime on the big day found my littles with ring pillows tied on their upper arms (seriously, they weren’t going to manage to carry them), running down the red carpet aisle towards the M&M holding best men, and STILL getting distracted by the rocks that were holding down the carpet. We called it a win.
Other children are something else to think about. Sometimes an older child in a wedding means that younger ones may follow. Sometimes you’ll end up with kids who don’t know each other being scared of one another in addition to being scared of all the people watching them. Multiple kids in weddings tends to exponentially up the cute factor, and the likelihood that SOMEONE will have a meltdown.
The most recent wedding boasted five children (my two nieces, ages five and three; and my sons, ages four, four, and two) in the wedding party. A more adorable set of children would be hard to find. We figured that the smaller ones would follow the bigger one to the ends of the earth because they spend the majority of their time together doing what she tells them. We definitely won because everyone made it down the aisle.
Last, but probably most important, remember to consider the bride and groom’s wishes and expectations. People who don’t necessarily have children may not realize the gamble that comes with asking younger children to be in their weddings. If the bride or groom is going to be upset if they don’t make it down the aisle, if someone cries because she can’t find mom, or if the flower petals are dropped one by one and then dumped at the end of the aisle, it might be a good idea to take a pass.
I have been blessed with couples who were more flexible with their expectations. When my three boys didn’t carry the little signs that were handmade for them, but one of them refused to put down the balloon he was playing with and therefore carried it down the aisle, it was all good. They didn’t even mind when my youngest decided to take his sweet time walking out of the church and the priest had to keep stopping and waiting. Bless them.
If your kids are in a wedding, don’t forget to include them in the fun of the reception afterwards. My kids really enjoyed looking forward to the cake and the dancing. They had a great time at this latest wedding, though they still refer to it as the couple’s “birthday party” (there was cake, y’all). I know it will be a memory for them, even as young as they are. Those pictures will last forever.
Photos provided by Photolavie.com.
