Confessions of a Reluctant Homeschooler

I never thought I would homeschool. Even though I was homeschooled for half of my education, I never saw it in my future. Not because I thought I wasn’t smart enough or that I didn’t want to be with my kids for that long each day. I think I’m smart enough, and I (mostly) love being with my kids all day long. But I just didn’t want to. I’m not lazy, but there are plenty of other ways I’d love to spend my time than teaching phonics, fractions, or medieval history.

And yet here I am: A reluctant homeschooling mom. I use the word reluctant because it’s still not my first choice, but I believe it’s what I need to do right now. We don’t live in what I consider to be a good school district, and we can’t afford to either move to a better district or enroll our kids in private school. In a heartbeat, I’d take those options! Those options aren’t a reality and may never be, so homeschooling is where I’ve landed. 

Because I’m teaching so many students, there are a lot of moving parts, considerations, and obstacles every day and every year. I still haven’t managed to figure all of it out in a satisfactory way, and I’m starting to assume that I never will. In the early days, I had guilt about what I was doing poorly and anxiety about what I wasn’t doing at all. But in 13 years of doing this, I’ve come a long way, baby.

So, here are some confessions from this reluctant homeschooler.

1. I don’t fit in a category. I’m not an Unschooler, a Charlotte Mason disciple, a Montessori mom, or a rigorously classical homeschooler. I’ve sort of been a little bit of all of those at one point on my journey, and they weren’t good fits for us. While I do think that too much rote, busy work can often stifle a child’s mind and spirit, and I want them to love what they are learning, I also believe they need to learn the discipline of sitting down and doing what I tell them. So yeah, no labels for me. None of them work.
2. I have no desks, no homeschool room, no cute cubbies with the kids’ names on them. That stuff is never gonna happen, and I gave up telling myself it would. We’ll just keep piling around the dining room table with books and throwing the books on a shelf at the end of the day. Pinterest can keep frowning at me, and I’ll just wave.
3. Some days, I just cry “uncle.” Some days we need to veg on the couch or hang out with friends or go visit my grandparents or go to the park. Now that I have kids in high school with much more work to do, I can’t bail on school as often as I’d like. On those days, when I REALLY, REALLY want to bail and can’t, I just remember that I can have bourbon when the kids go to bed.

It’s important that I tell you something else: despite my reluctance, my kids are all right. Really, they’re not reluctant at all. Only one of my six has ever said that she might want to go to school. For the most part, they are thriving and say that they are thankful to be home, learning at their own pace with the time to explore their individual passions and pursuits.

No one is putting pressure on me to homeschool. My husband is a gem; he is encouraging and helpful in my efforts, understanding of my frustrations, and supportive if I ever just can’t do it anymore. I’m blessed to have good people in my corner, friends that will love me regardless of my education choices, and I know that whatever happens, I’ll always have a good cheering section. And if my kids do end up in school someday, I’m confident they’ll do well, and I will be so happy. But today, I finish up my plans for homeschooling grades K, 4, 7, 8, and 10 this year. Wish me luck!