When “Mom” Becomes a Four-Letter Word

0

“No! You’re not playing it right!” screamed one child at the other as he grabbed the cars they were playing with. My boys were sliding toy cars down a baking sheet balanced against the coffee table. Crash. Bang. “MOOOOOM!” They yelled in unison. “He threw my car!” One accused the other. I assessed the situation and calmly said, “Parker, don’t let go of the car until your brother says you can. The race starts when both cars slide down.” Then I reminded the older child that throwing things doesn’t resolve our problems and asked him not to throw again.

That’s the moment I realized it — I was making up rules to imaginary games. Worse yet, hearing my kids say mom was starting to feel like hearing a four letter word. I cringed.

It’s actually kind of ironic. I remember when my older son was a toddler, and he wasn’t all that interested in talking, I prayed and begged and pleaded for him to speak and for me to hear him utter “mom.” As it turned out, he had lots to say, just on his own timeline. And now, sometimes when I hear “mom” multiple times in a five-minute increment, I cry a little inside. I want to hide under the covers with my Friends marathon and a box of chocolates.

Woman with baby near windowMoms who are introverts or sensitive to loud noises may feel these things right along with me, but the truth is it seems every mom feels this way at some point. It’s why we find ourselves laughing at memes that portray a mom eating chocolate while hiding in the bathroom; we know we’re not alone. Along with the sounds of our kids, there’s so much NOISE in the world today.

I always think of how brave my mom was. She parented in a very isolated world by today’s standards. No internet (and, thus, no mommy friends just a Facebook chat away), and we were too poor for her to regularly have her own car. How easy it must have been to succumb to depression, and, yet, there was joy in the solitude she experienced from time to time. There was no pressure to have a Pinterest-perfect house or the obsessive attention to detail when analyzing each cell phone picture to ensure you can’t see the dirty carpets. (Or, heaven forbid the carseat isn’t fastened in just the right position.) Even then, my mom would leave the house with her best friend and drive up to Oklahoma for an evening of just being free. I imagine they drove like I do when I go to the grocery store alone, with the windows down and the radio up — singing, talking, crying, and laughing.  Sometimes at the same time.

I struggle with the concept of tuning out the noises of the world, while ensuring I’m soaking up the moments with my kids. After a full day of work, I admit I’m a little talked out. Yet, that’s when the kids are home and ready to talk about their days and play at 100 percent volume. How can I ensure I find peace when there’s not any time left in the day to sit in silence? By the time dinner is over, the house is cleaned up, the lunches are packed, and I fit in a little more work, it’s late, and I collapse into bed.

Y’all, I get it. As much as we love our kids and their adorable voices, there are times when the only sound we want to hear is the whirr of the fan as we lay in our beds. Times when even the thought of calling a friend seems like too much. There’s no magic solution to restoring the balance in our lives. If you find ways to find peace, please feel free to comment and let me know! However, we can find solace in knowing we’re not alone. At any given moment, there’s a mom just like you (probably in your own neighborhood) hoping to find a friend willing to jump into the car for a night in Oklahoma. It’s okay, fellow moms. We’re in this together.

Are you seeking ways to connect with other moms in a similar parenting situation? Looking for some community? Join one of the Fort Worth Moms Blog Neighbor Groups

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here