This editorial series, S-E-X, is brought to you by the Fort Worth Moms Blog and Andrea Palmer, MD FACOG with Fenom Women’s Care. All 15 original articles from the S-E-X series can be found on our website.
Just because you have acquired the names Mom and Dad doesn’t mean sex has to turn into a boring chore to check off your to-do list. While it is totally normal for relationships to fall into ruts and for sex to become . . . ahem . . . a bit mundane, there are plenty of ways to heat things up again!
Rather than seeing parenthood as a roadblock that stops your sex life dead in its tracks, consider it a challenge to overcome by using one of these 10 down-and-dirty ways to spice up your love life.
Initiate When YOU Are in the Mood
Let’s face it: It doesn’t take long to reach your “touch quota” for the day when you have littles running around, making sex the last thing you want at the end of the day (because, HELLO, all. the. touching!!!!). Instead of leaving your spouse to play the guessing game every night, running the risk of being turned down because of your previously mentioned touch quota, let him know you are ready for some sexy time! Send him a text (even if he’s only two kids down from you on the couch), whisper a little something in his ear before putting the kids to bed, or turn off the TV a little early and give him a wink. The mere fact that YOU took a little control will definitely get things moving in the right direction!
Turn On the Jams
There is something about music that can really spice things up, intensify your emotions, and make you feel sexy. Search for playlists on Spotify (just search for “sex playlist”) or make your own using some of these recommendations. Vary up your playlist to make it even more fun. As the music changes from slow and swanky to more upbeat, so will your lovin’.
Lunch at Home
There are days when I am just DONE come 9:00 p.m. I am tired, my brain is frazzled, and I want to do nothing more than zone out watching Netflix (and NOT “chilling”). But lunchtime is a different story! Instead of meeting each other for a burger or sandwich at lunch, schedule a nooner and have each other for lunch.
Invest in You
It is really hard to get in the mood when you don’t feel confident in your own skin. This will look different for every one, but experiment with different things you can do to feel sexy in your own skin. Try getting a Brazillian (I promise, the momentary discomfort is totally worth it in the sheets), a spray tan, a new haircut, or just some new pretty panties. Fix your hair and makeup and put on your favorite dress just because. Paint your fingernails or get a pedicure. Putting a little extra time into pampering yourself may just give you that extra boost of confidence you need to turn you into a freak in the sheets!
Send a text to your hubby letting him know you aren’t wearing panties. Take a racy picture and send it to him on the way home from work. Let your hand wander a bit when giving him a hug as he walks in the door. Whisper an invitation in his ear to join you in the shower after the kids go to bed. Channel your inner teenager, and flirt your heart out! The longer the build-up, the better the finish.
Get a Room
You don’t even have to leave your town to accomplish this mission. Send the kids to their grandparents’ house for the night, and get a room. There is something to be said about the awesomeness of hotel sex. No kids in the next room, no nosey neighbors whom you will have to face for years to come, and no laundry or chores staring at you in the face. Being able to escape reality for a night and just focus on being together is key.
Bonus points if there is a hot tub or steam room to get all heated up!
Wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep? Forget to turn off your alarm on Saturday morning? Instead of getting frustrated, get frisky! Roll over and wake your spouse with some extra lovin’. I promise there won’t be any complaints coming from him, and it might be just what you need to get back to sleep.
Try Something New
Boredom is a major romance killer. If things are getting a little stale in the bedroom, don’t be afraid of change. Try a new position or two, move from the bed to the floor (or heck, try the kitchen counter!), or keep the lights ON instead of turning them off. Small changes can yield big results (if you know what I mean).
Toys Are for Adults, Too
This one makes a lot of women giggle like schoolgirls, but sex toys can sometimes be exactly what is needed to make things interesting again. If reaching an orgasm is more challenging for you, get a small vibrator for your husband to use during foreplay. Restraints and blindfolds can make the anticipation so strong that you shiver at your spouse’s first touch. Bring a few things from the kitchen into your room! Experimentation is the name of this game. The most important part? Ditch the embarrassment and just go for it. You will never know until you try!
Pro tip: Shop online if you can’t bring yourself to walk into a sex shop. You can browse to your heart’s content without worrying about running into someone you know.
Take the Pictures
No matter how frustrated you are with how your body looks, your spouse sees you MUCH differently than you see yourself. Instead of resenting your body, celebrate how beautiful you really are with boudoir photography. Many of these photographers have makeup artists, hairstylists, and even champagne at the shoot to get you feeling your sexiest. Not only will YOU feel sexy every time you look at your scantily-clad pictures, your husband will have a constant reminder of the hotty he gets to go to sleep with every night.
Do you have a dirty little secret that gets things hot and steamy at home? Share your tip in the comments!