Why Didn’t Anyone Warn Me I Would Never Sleep Again After Having Kids?

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This post is part of an editorial series, “Sweet Sleep,” brought to you by the Fort Worth Moms Blog. We hope these pieces provide you with helpful information, encouragement, and insight as your navigate your family’s sleep journey.

It is no surprise that you will be sleep deprived during the baby stage. I used to think that once we were out of that phase, I’d be in the clear, and I would sleep through the night again. I’d like to take a moment of silence for that sweet and optimistic time in my life that I so naively believed would be true.

Here I am with three children who are well past the baby phase, and yet I have not gotten a single night of good night of rest in the last six years. (Insert loud sobs.)

woman sleeping pillowAfter yet another night of terrible sleep, I stumbled out of my room this morning, and my son said to me: You always look so tired.

I laughed and looked in the mirror. I looked like a zombie character from the Walking Dead, bags and dark circles under my eyes, and hair standing on end. Thank you for that sweet compliment and yes, son, the reason I look so doggone tired is because I am exhausted!

Our first problem is that my middle child defies all logic when it comes to sleep. He has been known to stay up until 10:00 or 11:00 and wake up at the crack of dawn bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. At a young age, he declared he is “not a sleeper.” Maya Angelou says that when people tell you who they are you should believe them, and I guess she’s right.

I also share a bed with many people. Not by choice, mind you. I have no judgment for anyone who does this by choice, but my situation does not fall in that camp. One of the many things I said I would never do as a parent is co-sleep with my kids. Guess what? The joke is on me, because I now co-sleep with all three of my kids, which makes it near impossible to actually get any rest.

The night starts out fantastic — just me and the hubs in our bed. After a few hours, the four year old makes his way in, and because I am not a rookie, he has his own mattress on the floor next to our bed. Soon after, in walks the three year old, and it’s all over. He refuses his own mat and will only settle for the middle of our bed. This would be fine except he sleeps horizontally, and I get woken up by a swift kick to the teeth roughly 90 times during a typical night. My oldest son frequently has nightmares, so I often find him at the bottom of our bed as well.

I have realized it’s all about the quality of sleep. Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep is very different from eight hours of sleep in which you are woken up constantly. A night of uninterrupted sleep is like this magical unicorn I have yet to believe exists. The thought of it is more exciting to me than winning the Texas lottery. Because in my mind, it is winning the lottery.

sweet sleep editorial seriesThe next problem is all my kids wake at the unholy hour of 6:00 a.m. It took me years before I figured this out; but it doesn’t matter if they go to bed at 7:00 p.m. or midnight; they still wake up at the exact same time. I am not a morning person by nature, so this early wake-up call is quite painful.

I have to believe these toddlers I live with will one day grow into teenage boys who will want to sleep in, but instead have an early wake-up call for school. Only then will they know the exquisite pain of being abruptly woken up against your will. When this happens, I will slyly smile to myself, as I know this pain all too well.  

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