The REAL Reason I Only Have One Child

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“Don’t you think Avery would just love a younger brother or sister?” 

“She’s old enough by now. Isn’t it time to start thinking about having another one?” 

“You’re not getting any younger; it’s time to give Avery a little brother or sister.” 

“Give it some time, I bet you’ll change your mind.” 

moms with babies talking

If you’re a mom of one child, chances are you’ve heard some version of these seemingly innocent, yet SUPER annoying questions or phrases. It’s as if by not giving your only child a sibling, you’re committing child abuse and essentially guaranteeing them a miserable childhood.

I’ve written before about some of my reasons for having just one child, but there’s one reason I haven’t shared . . .

I’m LAZY. Oh and while I’m at it, here’s another one. I’m SELFISH. 

There I said it. Parenting is exhausting. 

>> RELATED READ :: Living with an Only Child <<

I wish I was one of those people who had endless amounts of energy and didn’t require much sleep. But, I’m not. 

mom napping with toddlerYou know the advice all new moms get? “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Well, I was lucky in that Avery napped up until she was four and guess what? I napped just about everything she napped and felt ZERO guilt. When she gave up that nap, I was devastated. Now, my incredible husband will take her out of the house most Saturdays for a few hours so I can still nap. And again, ZERO guilt here. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally worthless. I work, do my fair share of housework, try to be a good wife, and am the very best possible mom I can be to Avery. But, I would have nothing left to give if I had another child. 

>> RELATED READ :: Dispelling Four “Only Child” Myths <<

On to the selfish part. As every parent knows, life completely changes once you have a child. While the majority of those changes are incredible, there’s also the part about where your life is no longer about you. Vacations (if you bring your children) aren’t really vacations, you no longer have as much discretionary income to spend on your clothes, hair, etc., and instead of weekends with your husband or girlfriends, you’re spending them at the soccer fields or volleyball courts. 

By only having one child, I get a little more “me” time, vacations are a little easier, and I have a little money leftover to still spend on one of my favorite habits . . . shopping! 

Again, don’t get me wrong — I love being a mom, and I love my daughter. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to my husband and me. But, I’d rather be the best mom I can be to my one child than be a mediocre, exhausted (possibly bitter mom) to more than one child. 

Are there any other only child moms out there who’ve been holding in these deep, dark (SINFUL!) secrets?

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Kelly and her husband, Shawn, are both Fort Worth natives and proud parents to their eight-year-old daughter, Avery, the inspiration behind many of Kelly’s articles. In her time as a mom, Kelly has become an unofficial expert on the NICU, autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and global developmental delays. She’s an open book about their experiences and is always happy to talk to other moms looking for guidance or just another mom who gets it. After being in corporate marketing for almost 20 years, craving more flexibility and time with Avery, she founded 314 Marketing Solutions (www.314marketingsolutions.com) in 2019, a full-service boutique marketing agency. She considers herself an expert in multi-tasking and counts her car as the main headquarters for her business, regularly switching being a special needs mom driving to and from multiple therapy appointments, activities, and business owner.

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