What Is Date Night Again?


Want to go on a date night? This is a question I hear mostly from my teenage daughter when she wants to go out. It’s not often heard from my husband. We have been together for quite some time — 16 years to be exact. We have had a roller-coaster life, and at this time we are too exhausted from work, school, house duties, and our three kids to have a date night. We consider date night to be sitting in front of the TV and watching reruns of Friends. (I too am sad it is no longer on Netflix.)

But that’s where we are right now. Do we occasionally get dolled up and go out? Yes, occasionally. I wish I could say I could be that couple who has a set date on their calendar and made sure to keep that date, but we aren’t. I commend those who can do that, and I want to know how you do it all!

On those rare, special occasions, we get dressed up and head out to dinner and a movie. It usually goes something like this:

My mind races and thinks of the 100 other things I need to do like signing that permission slip that is due tomorrow, or asking myself questions. Did I turn in that assignment or is it sitting idle on my computer? Did I miss a deadline?

Our drinks arrive, and I try to maintain my composure and focus on my husband. He just smiles and shakes his head and I know that signal. It means check your phone because you won’t relax till you know the kids are okay. They are, of course, but he knows that it will relax me if I make sure they are taken care of.

I am one of those parents who feels guilty going out when my kids are at home with a babysitter. I have been a mom for more than 13 years, and letting go is hard to do. I think it’s hard for any parent. My husband wants me to relax and enjoy those fleeting hours we have alone without any interruptions.

Date nights can be distracting when someone is worried about the kids and on the phone.

Our normal fluctuates day by day, and week by day. We try to go to the gym and work out together, and we enjoy that hour or two of running faster, lifting more it becomes a competition between us. That is who we are as a couple today. We relax a bit and begin to talk about how our day went or what happened with the kids, and what our plans are this month. We fall into this simple back-and-forth, and it’s us being us. Sometimes we forget that we had to date and get to know each other before getting to this stage in our relationship.

I do vow to get better at date nights, so I want to know what tips do you have to make sure you get a date night, and what does date night mean to you?


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