Is there a part of our lives not impacted by the coronavirus pandemic? We don’t think so. We struggle to find one aspect of our lives unchanged in some way. That also applies to those of us walking through infertility.
Fort Worth Moms own Emily Y set down with a local friend who is living this right now. We hope her story comforts and encourages you. You are not alone!
Q: First, will you share an overview of your infertility journey, also explaining a bit about secondary infertility?
A: My husband was a widower when I met him, and I adopted his son after we were married in 2011. We tried to get pregnant but were unsuccessful, and after 2.5 years began to see a fertility doctor. We ran all the tests and did all the things and were given the diagnosis “unexplained fertility.” We didn’t feel ready to begin any procedures, so we decided to think on it for a few months, and in those months, became pregnant with our daughter. She was born in 2014. When we decided to try for a third, we were pretty much met with the same result. We have been again trying for three years now, meeting with the same fertility doctor, and diagnosis is unexplained (secondary) infertility.
That dang diagnosis is almost more frustrating than anything else, because there is nothing we can do. Nothing we can “fix.” Because of my age (37), we decided to begin intrauterine insemination (IUI) procedures. We did the first one in February. It was unsuccessful. We were scheduled for another one in March, and because of the incredibly small window you have to complete the procedure (a whole other frustrating complication), we were unable to do it. The next would have been April, and it has been postponed indefinitely.
Q: How has the coronavirus pandemic impacted you as you’re walking through fertility issues?
A: We are just very much feeling the pressure of age. I will soon be 38, and my husband is 44. Every month that passes with no explanation as to why we are unable to get pregnant is just incredibly disheartening, so the inability to continue with our infertility treatments sometimes feels like another nail in the coffin of our dreams of growing our family.
Q: Fertility issues can be mentally and emotionally draining. How has your mental and emotional health held up with these added layers of stress and change thanks to COVID?
A: Honestly, it’s actually been okay. We’re discouraged, but this whole thing kind of puts our momentary troubles into perspective. It’s more the loss of my dream of a big family that I struggle with.
Q: Here’s your chance to talk to other women walking this same road. What would you like to tell them?
A: Just that every walk is different, and every person’s feelings and heartache about whatever kind of infertility they are facing are valid. A friend once told me that our grief is our grief, and you can’t compare our walk with someone else’s. At the same time, I am trying to stay positive in that this is just a small chunk of time. It feels like this large, drawn-out, never-ending passage of time that is slowly stealing all of our chances of growing our families. But we know this too will pass, and we are hopeful we will be able to begin seeing our doctor again next month.