:: Disclaimer :: This post was was sponsored and written by Project 4031 to bring awareness to Fort Worth Moms readers.
When a friend or family member has a terminal illness, there is not a carefully written plan for those who love him or her. There are many turns and pivots along the way, but the one goal and outcome we should have when caring for a loved one with a terminal diagnosis is to be loving and supportive. Even though there are a plethora of ways to navigate this time, here are five methods you can use to support your loved one as you navigate this difficult journey together.
1. Give time. People need time to work through pain and loss. Grief is a process with no precise timeline or path. It looks different with each of us. Give yourself, your friend, or family member the time he or she needs to process what is happening. Let him or her know you are there and ready to talk. It is essential for that person to know you will be there with support whenever the time comes. Your friend or family member will be going through a lot of emotions and will want to feel dignity through the process. You being there to listen gives an opportunity. At the end of someone’s life, dignity is of the utmost importance.
2. Be available to listen. Be all ears whenever he or she needs someone to listen. Your friend or family member’s body and physical condition are changing, but that does not change the soul of the person. People with a terminal diagnosis tend to keep hope alive and still set goals. Everyone’s journey is different; he or she might want to test new ways to live and want someone to discuss this with. Genuinely listen to thoughts, hopes, and fears. Be a safe place for the person when he or she wants to dream and live well to the very end.
3. Socialize as needed. Your friend or family member might want to keep in touch and feel part of the world. Take your loved one to social activities appropriate to the situation to lessen the feeling of isolation. Find out what time of day he or she typically feels best and plan to visit and keep company. Some individuals with a terminal diagnosis want to keep working, and you should be supportive, checking on the person as needed. A person with a terminal diagnosis still wants to be known as an equal.
4. Honor his or her legacy. Many people who have a terminal diagnosis want to know he or she will be remembered when gone. Each person is an individual, so find what is right for your situation. It my be taking a trip together to recall happy memories, or perhaps it is a tangible keepsake item to make together. Think outside the box and make it unique and meaningful for everyone involved. Both will cherish this time and experience as a way to honor and value your relationship and the person’s legacy.
5. Give endless love. You could argue that all the tips so far could be wrapped up in one paragraph, but at the end of the day, what we all need to know and feel is love. This is especially true for a person diagnosed with a terminal illness. Without overpowering, tell and show how much that person is loved — listen, laugh, provide real support, create a wish list, and don’t encourage false hope. Make this time unique and authentic to your situation and your relationship. Although it will be difficult, allow yourself to be fully aware of all that is happening. You will cherish this time one day, and you will honor your loved one in the process.
One way our community is supporting individuals with a terminal diagnosis is through a local nonprofit called Project 4031, which provides much-needed services to its community members facing end-of-life challenges. Project 4031’s mission is to provide terminally ill children, adults, and their families with peace and comfort by easing financial burdens and fulfilling last dreams. The organization strives to make a difference in the lives of those it serves when it counts the most. Project 4031 exists because over one-third of terminally ill patients have substantial care needs. Evidence suggests the last phase of life is accompanied by significant emotional distress, financial hardship, and inadequate support for patients and families.
Executive director and co-founder Kristina Robertson says, “We are grateful to be a small light in a very dark time and humbled and honored to serve where we can. This new turn our world has seen through COVID-19 has shown our team where we can continue our mission in new ways. Writing letters to patients who are isolated and alone, providing essential care packages to our hospice partners and patients, along with cloth masks and grocery gift cards are a few efforts made possible through the generosity and support of our donors and volunteers. We are grateful to serve where we can and partner with our community to move the needle forward for patients facing end-of-life challenges.”
If you would like to learn more and be part of the impact, please visit www.project4031.org or call (817) 653-8976.
