Oh migraines. You bring us to our knees.
That is, you literally bring us to our knees, because we are nauseous and hugging the toilet. Our insurances hate you almost as much as our families. Oh migraines.
If you live in the land of migraine like I do, you’ll know what I mean about these “isms” we all wish we didn’t understand.
-ism #1: I wish I could hang out with friends and their kids without secretly cringing every time they scream with joy. My kids sure as heck know better, because . . . trigger city. But bless those little clueless rascals who do not.
-ism #2: I wish I didn’t need lights off so often. For example, when I go to the restroom, I turn the lights OFF rather than ON. And the last thing I want during a shower is a bright overhead light. Ew.
-ism #3: More about lights. The sun is mean, particularly when driving at dawn or dusk. I wish light didn’t scream at my brain. Shut those blinds, pass me my sunglasses, and for the love of everything: Please, please, please do not install migraine inducing lights during a house renovation. (They didn’t, whew!)
-ism #4: The relief after an episode completely hinges on euphoria. The laughter, the activity level, and the pure bliss. We can do anything. We are every woman. Hear us roar (at least until the next one).
-ism #5: Please, Lord, don’t sit me next to the stinky perfume woman today at church. Please. Enough said.
-ism #6: Cancelling fun get togethers is just about as much of a normal occurrence as attending fun get togethers with a migraine. The former works out well for the rest of the world while the latter is tough on ‘em. Because I am a bear. No matter the effort I put in, I am still a gray cloud raining on all the parades around me when my painful partner joins me.
-ism #7: It isn’t the same as your headache. So, no . . . the combo of essential oils, standing on my head, nasal spray, vitamins, caffeine, green tea, and zinc really won’t change things in a major way for me. Been there and done all that. Love the kind sentiment but advice gets old. My medical team is on it; I promise.
-ism #8: Stress/anxiety. If there’s an emotion typically associated with migraines, this is it. The humdinger? Wanna know how to increase your anxiety? Worry and stress about it causing migraines. Blah!
-ism #9: Pain likes to camp out. So once our pain develops a pattern, it is wired strongly in our brains. However, even when I feel the slightest tinge of pain, I still try to think like a normal human and consider just drinking more water and waiting it out. This is oh-so-dead-wrong every time I try it, but yet I try to continue to do it!
-ism #10: Illness of any kind means I get to enjoy migraines for a bit. Got a cold? Here, take a migraine with that! Flu? Easy peasy. But oh, wait, not really, because here comes the head pain. Any ailment at any time — a stuffy nose or popping ears — will bring it on. We are masters of other illnesses and more resilient than most because we have learned those skills. Wouldn’t it be truly remarkable to get a cold and only have to experience the cold?!
-ism #11: I know it’s coming when I start subconsciously touching my head often. Pressure and ice are my go-to’s (after meds). Fingers to the head = a bad omen!
-ism#12: I miss concerts.
I couldn’t stop at 10. Consider yourself commiserated with.