Everyone has a picture in their mind of what their life will look like. Since I was a little girl, I only dreamed of being a mom and having a family with the white picket fence.
Little did I know how fast that would change.
For two and a half years you were present in our children’s lives. Although somewhere in there, it took a turn. Your focus no long prioritized your children. It seemed as if the family life I had dreamed of was taking a back seat.
We had beautiful children and one on the way — and we were the furthest from your mind. Now that time has passed, and the times you have spent with your children are a handful. You have seen your baby twice. I wonder how you feel about that, or if you even acknowledge it.
The memories of the past are still fresh for me, and I cannot help but think about how much you are missing — even the little things, down to their school artwork, their activities, and the things they say. You think three to four days a month is plenty of time, yet you do not get it.
But above all, I want to say thank you. Because of what you did I now have more time with my children. I do not have to share them, and I can relish in the moments when they stop me in my tracks with the things they say. I get to soak up hugs, cries, and most of all their joys. Watching them do things they love is some of the best parts of my life.
Yes, it is incredibly hard to be a single mom and to make sure all your children’s needs are met before your own. To make sure they are taken care of in every way possible. To even make a schedule for the week because everyone has a different one. But I have managed, and I have succeeded, and even more so all by myself. I am so much stronger and independent than I had ever dreamed, and I’m so much happier.
I don’t believe our kids will ever come first in your life. This is the opposite for me because they are the reason I can get out of bed every morning and do everything that I do. So again, thank you for allowing me to celebrate these moments with my children. To make their lunch every day for school, and to take them to their activities. You tried to break us down, but it did the opposite. I have turned out to be exactly what my children need.
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