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Our adoption journey started Friday June 16, 2016. The agency prepared us for an average 18-month wait, but each passing day was excruciating and we didn’t know how we were going to continue. Even though it may feel impossible, you have to have to keep pushing through and you have to prepare. Exactly one year later, I asked on Facebook for happy thoughts. I knew our child was still out there waiting to find us. Was our baby ever going to come?
Little did we know that our daughter had been born just a few hours earlier.
Saturday morning came, and it was just an ordinary weekend. We intended to get the house in order that day. And though we prepared to tackle all the things we let pile up throughout the week, instead we kicked off our pants and watched T.V. We’d watch just a show or two and then we will get started, of course!
Our case manager called around 11:00 a.m. We thought it was a little odd she was calling on a Saturday, but we had received many urgent calls before. We learned not to get too excited because up until this moment, each call ended in disappointment. And there was a lot of disappointment. She was a little frazzled, stating she was at the airport about to head out on vacation. She had a profile book she needed to review with us. It couldn’t wait.
She began by telling us about the birth mother. She continued with information on the birth father. Then, she told us about a baby girl who was born the morning before. We were listening intently, taking notes. (We learned to always take notes when your case manager calls!)
“This is perfect,” we both thought and looked at each other nodding yes. She asked us the question, “Do you want me to show your profile to them?” Without hesitation we both said, “Yes.”
“Great,” she said. “They’ve already picked you. I showed your profile earlier this week. Get your butts down there and pick up your daughter!”
OH MY GOSH — IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?
>> LISTEN :: Adoption Myth Busters :: Momfessions Podcast <<
We found out some more small details about what to expect in the coming hours. We looked around, bawling, knowing we couldn’t bring a child home to this messy house. We can’t meet her birth parents in this state! Hubby started cleaning while I started making phone calls. Immediately my best friend and sister-in-law headed over to help (and my BFF went and bought essentials we needed) We were seriously underprepared. My sister-in-law saved clothes just in case we had a girl! We had NOTHING.
We were very open on our application and one of the difficulties we faced was preparedness: one baby, multiples, siblings — we didn’t know what to expect! During the adoption process, some parents-to-be are even paired with an expectant birth mother. Take it from me, prepare if you are able.
Amidst the scrambling, we had an amazing conversation with the birth parents. They wanted to meet us as soon as we got in.
It’s Really Happening
We start hauling you-know-what for the five-ish hour drive. WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG? We finally arrived at the hospital at 11:00 p.m. We were so, so nervous. The birth father met us outside the hospital entrance, and we realized we are really doing this. Then, we headed up to the hospital room and met the birth mother.
All the struggles of the past year completely faded away as she handed me this little baby girl.
We talked for an hour. We laughed. We cried. As we said our farewells for the night, just after midnight, the birth father looked at my husband and said, “Hey, Happy Father’s Day.”
We didn’t get any sleep that night. Sunday, we arrived at the hospital and waited. We finally got a call from the case worker when the birth parents’ right were officially terminated. She is OUR DAUGHTER! We kept her middle name to honor her birth parents.
Happily Ever After
We later found out the birth parents received our last profile book. Our case manager planned to call us to order more, but turns out she didn’t need to. Our last profile book was the last one we needed. We had waited so long for her to find us. We loved her so much before we even met her. And now she has been with us for more than five years.
>> RELATED READ :: Momfession Monday: Adoption, a Tragic Love Story <<
To parents who plan on adopting, as you wait placement, think about the relationship you want to have with birth parents. It is one of the most dynamic relationships you’ll ever have, if you’re open to it. We are so unbelievably grateful for those two humans for making us parents and for giving us what we couldn’t give ourselves. The love we feel for them is indescribable. They have changed our lives forever.
Though the adoption process is a roller coaster ride, try and remember your child is coming. The endless preparing, the tears, and doubts . . . it all fades away the second your baby is placed into your arms. Our daughter has changed our lives forever. She was absolutely worth the wait.