I’ve breastfed for almost six years.
I’ve had the privilege to breastfeed all four of my children for nearly a year and a half each. I say privilege not because breastfeeding is easy or always wonderful, but because not everyone has the choice to nurse her children, so I count myself very blessed.
Breastfeeding doesn’t look one way. It can look so different, even different for children from the same mama. Here are my four unique experiences in a nutshell.
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First Time
When preparing for our first child, I thought breastfeeding would come naturally to me. I didn’t sign up for a breastfeeding class because I thought you just put baby to the nipple and BAM, it’s done.
I WAS SO WRONG. It was so hard! Breastfeeding was not completely instinctual for me; it was a learned art.
And learn I did — the hard way. In my daughter’s first nursing session, I didn’t know I was supposed to adjust her latch. Because I didn’t make sure she opened her mouth wide enough to latch properly, I immediately got nipple wounds that were hard to heal, and I was in severe pain for a long time.
Even after I learned how to get her to latch correctly, I was in a lot of pain from the damage done in the beginning.
I remember crying many times when my baby first started to suck each nursing session. I tried every trick to soothe the nipple soreness and the weird “too full of milk” pain — cabbage leaves, ice packs, warm showers, pumping, nipple creams, etc.
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I so clearly remember thinking: Why do people talk so much about labor when they should really be preparing you for nursing?! Labor is one to two days . . . . Nursing is all day and night for weeks and months, and maybe even years!
I had to learn the art of nursing until she was 85-percent full on one breast, then breaking the baby’s suction, and putting her on the other breast. And I had to do remember to do all of that through sleep exhaustion. Not to mention remembering which was ready for the next feed. It may sound simple, but breastfeeding takes time and focus to master.
After six weeks, nursing stopped hurting and became natural. It began to be a wonderful opportunity to take a break and cuddle my baby.
Nursing remained easy for me until I got a bad case of mastitis a couple months in. I thought I was dying, and even rushed to the emergency room (which I wouldn’t recommend).
But other than that, nursing was a blessing and I was sad when I stopped. However, I was three months pregnant, and felt too ill with morning sickness to continue.
Second Time
With our second child, nursing was a dream. I couldn’t believe nursing could start so wonderfully! I was a little sore but didn’t need any magical creams, and it felt like I actually knew what I was doing that time around.
I figured my first had been hard because my body wasn’t used to nursing. (I later learned that was wrong.)
The only issues with nursing my second were I just couldn’t find the time to pump milk to have the optional bottle, and she also had terrible reflux. Somehow, she would spit up what felt like a gallon of milk all over herself, me, and the floor after most feedings (but I doubt formula would have made her reflux any better). I did try eating differently to help her, but she seemed to get better with time.
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Third Time
Then our third beauty was born. I would never have guessed how terrible nursing could be.
The way my daughter sucked created HUGE deep holes in my nipples. I was bleeding and crying all time. The pain was excruciating for the first two to three months EVERY time she nursed.
I tried nipple shields, coconut oil, all kinds of ointments, pain medications, and every trick from blow drying my breasts to breast shells to help my scabs get better. I breastfed in every position to find any relief — some you probably never would have imagined possible! I even fed her while I was in the bath to help me calm down and hold her more easily in different positions.
I was told our daughter had a tongue tie, but didn’t feel we could afford to have that problem fixed at the time, so I carried on.
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It was a very hard time in my life. I was exhausted, had two other small children to care for, and some work responsibilities, but felt such deep convictions about the importance of nursing. I knew from experience that if I could get past the initial hardship, breastfeeding would be wonderful with this baby, too.
By some miracle, I did make it though, and things did get so much better. When I eventually stopped nursing my third, she was around 20 months old, and it was so sad and hard again.
Fourth Time
Breastfeeding my fourth has been pretty seamless. I’m not sure if it’s simply just easier this time around, or because I have so much going on that I haven’t had time to pay attention to any challenges for long.
I did get mastitis pretty badly when he was eight months old because I was exhausted and pushing myself too hard. Other than that, this nursing experience has been a complete gift. He even eats faster than his sisters, who could easily nurse for an hour at a time.
This sweet boy just turned one, and I am so grateful to be able to still be nursing him.
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Nursing has been a built-in, consistent time where we bond and cuddle amidst a chaotic world of three big sisters who are constantly vying for my attention. It’s also the only time my sweet boy, like his sisters at that age, are willing to be still and just let me hold them.
Breastfeeding all of my kids has come with unique sacrifices, some with large learning curves and weeks of pain. But, for me, the gifts have out weighed the hardships each time.
