Fighting to Feed

As the newest “mama on the block” of this great FWMB team, you could very much say that I am still fumbling my way around this whole new parenting gig.  We are four months into the life of our sweet little girl, and it has been filled with more joy, laughter, sweat, tears, and challenges than my mind could have ever wrapped itself around.  As much as I enjoyed working, I was eager to leave my life in the cubicle for a life at home, but I was completely naive to what feeling of incompetency would greet me that very first day we arrived home with our little bundle of joy – especially when it came to breastfeeding.

I know that I am not alone in this.

During my pregnancy, I spent countless hours preparing for the day I would say to my husband “I think my water just broke” (though in fact, it came out more like “honey, how do you know if your water has broken?”).  Included in studies was time preparing for breastfeeding: I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding front to back, we talked about it in our birth class,  I took another class at the hospital (at the wise encouragement of a postpartum nurse friend), and talked to all my mommy friends about it.  I thought I was prepared enough, committed to breastfeeding this little one right away, but I know now that no one is ever fully prepared.

I contemplated sharing about our 4 month journey , which will surprise you at how long and involved that will be.  I could talk through cracked nipples, struggling with positions, tongue-tie, middle of the night tears, reflux, weight-loss (of the little one, not me!), misalignment, thrush, medications, on and on. But in all those details I know that all I have is what I have learned:

  1. Reach out for help early – if you haven’t heard it enough through this series, find a lactation consultant that you love, and much like childbirth, forget about modesty. We came home from the hospital on a Sunday, and by Thursday we were visiting with an LC. I have since had three more appointments.  The smallest “tweaks” can make the biggest difference.
  2. You will want to give up – it is almost a certainty, and therefore that means that all moms, even those who nursed their babies well beyond a year, have been there too. Get people in your corner that can support and encourage you to continue. You can do this.
  3. Leaking. Oh the leaking – nothing can humble a mom like going out in public and soaking through your shirt.  No one warned me that I would need to budget for disposable nursing pads, but we’ve gone through boxes.
  4. Be willing to entertain alternative methods of assistance. For us, that has meant visiting an occupational therapist for the past month to help alleviate our daughter’s tongue-tie and alignment issues that were making nursing (and a host of other things) challenging. This holistic approach to her health has been tremendous.
  5. Night is a lonely time when nursing is challenging. Painful nursing in the middle of the night brought on the strongest ‘baby blues’ feelings. Don’t be afraid to wake your husband/partner/mother – whoever is in the house with you. Though they may be helpless to help you physically, do not struggle alone in the darkness. Ask for help.
  6. Buy a comfortable chair – you’ll be spending a lot of time in it.
  7. Start at your own pace, but don’t be afraid to nurse in public. Modesty is encouraged, and discrete locations can be found all over town, but allow yourself to get out of the house and enjoy an afternoon. Disregard the reactions or opinions of others.
  8. Supplementing with formula is okay. Enough said.
  9. Watch your baby try to root on your husband/friend/father-in-law, and laugh.
  10. Middle of the night snuggles after a feed are the best – makes getting up at 2am completely worth it.

I am no expert, just a new mom working her way through parenthood and breast feeding. I am thankful for the stories and experiences of others to let me know I am not crazy, and I am not alone – and neither are you.

 

Carly
Carly is a stay at home mom to her daughter, Piper, and wife to a Fort Worth native, Mason. She loves making lists, long runs, warm coffee cuddled up on the couch, and a nice afternoon sitting on the patio chatting with friends.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Carly, I love this!! 5. BOTH my mom and Matt’s mom sat up with me as I cried trying to wean C from the nipple shield in those first few weeks (while Matt was back at work). 9. C did latch onto Matt one night in bed. It was hilarious for me…painful for him! 7. YES, yes, yes!!! This is hard but SO worth it. I remember the first time I nursed C in public with a cover at Starbucks. A guy walked by, did a double take (probably because of my large and moving purple “shirt”), and embarrassed turned away as fast as he could. It was hilarious! Nursing #2 baby in public, at church, wherever=NO BIG DEAL!! :):)

  2. Keep on, keepin’ on, Friend! it will get easier….and then harder….and then easier again! Trust your mommy gut and respond to Piper’s cues. You will get in sync soon!

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