Ready for Another? When Spouses Don't Agree

Ready for another?

How many of you played the 100 questions game when dating? We all remember it – as you progressed through your relationship, the question about how many kids you want pops up. In my experience, you tend to have a number in your mind based on what you think is a good idea (which is heavily influenced by what kind of family you grew up in). Somehow, you just formulate a magic number in mind or maybe you continue to contemplate that number like Brandi did. Or maybe your first child still isn’t sleeping through the night, refuses to potty train, or is in a never-ending tantrum, and you are thus reconsidering that “big” family.

What happens when you fall madly in love with someone and they want more than you? I think it’s especially interesting when the husband wants more kids than the wife. When my husband and I started family planning, he told me how important it was that we have a boy to carry on his family name. He told me that if we didn’t have a boy after four girls, we could adopt. I really hope you moms reading this are laughing at that statement, because I certainly was. Sure babe, let me just pop out four kids and then you will graciously give me a break… Luckily, our first child was the golden boy and the Hargrave name lives on!

How do you have that conversation with your spouse about when you want to start having children and when you want to have more? After getting married to my husband, I wanted kids right away. He convinced me that he wanted to have fun with just the two of us for a couple of years and so we waited. It was a great decision, especially because I was only 21 when we got married. Around year three I was practically begging him to have a baby, and he gave in. Since the first was a boy, he was in no rush to have another and we were actually contemplating having only one. What a turnaround for him, huh?

Have you and your spouse agreed on how many kids you are going to have? If not, how do you convince or persuade your spouse for more or fewer kids?

Isis and her husband, Lee, are owners of enduraLAB, Fort Worth’s first endurance gym and proud parents to Jack and Isla. Isis blogs about her running adventures, which coincidentally involve chasing after her 2 year old, on her blog called The Running Couple. If you don’t catch her at the gym or on the trails, she is reading books with the babe, painting her nails with bright colors or cooking up paleo meals for the fam. She is a bit of a social butterfly, so follow her on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and join her Facebook Group - Fort Worth Moms.


  1. […] as we corralled four kids together and looked at each other like, “Are we SURE we want a big family?” And then as we all cuddled up in front of the latest Disney movie, the thought of someday […]


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