The better we understand our emotions and internal experiences, the better equipped we will be to healthfully navigate whatever life throws our way. The experience of being emotionally validated is the foundation of this "emotional IQ."
He seemed like a very nice guy when we met him. He seemed to bring happiness to Mary's life. She seemed in love with the perfect guy. Little did we know, he often raised his hand to harm to her.
If your dad wasn't your first love or your house was unsafe, you're not alone. And choosing a spouse or partner the total opposite of your toxic parent(s) was a wise decision. You CAN be the end of the line of angry people. Their story doesn't have to be yours, and your story doesn't have to be your child's. You don't have to carry your parents' baggage anymore.
It took me a long time to use the word abuse. It felt like such a severe word for an occasional behavior. Even once I started to name the behavior, it still felt strong on my tongue, like maybe I was making it up or exaggerating things in my mind.