Tag: parenting wisdom
It is my role to steward his character well and -- while I'm still working on the whole running-after-a-toddler-with-a-baby-strapped-to-my-chest-and teaching-him-to-stop-when-I-say-so thing -- I hope he never loses his curiosity for open spaces and adventure.
When expecting my daughter, I wondered if she'd inherit my green eyes and creativity. I didn't think much, however, about the traits I hoped she and I would not share. As luck and genetics would have it, we're both big worry warts. My heart sinks every time she wrings her hands and bites the inside of her lip. I can relate to the helpless feeling worry can bring.
I will sit in the meeting and spend the entire half hour fighting the urge to stand on the table and shout, "Please don't rush me! This is IMPORTANT! He doesn't look sick, and he can fly under your radar, and I need you to UNDERSTAND that we can lose him!!!"
Losing that nursing bond feels strangely like mourning, like you're giving up being her Mommy as your lactation shuts down. You feel betrayed by your breasts, and guilty for taking the vacation, for leaving your daughter behind, and for getting so wrapped up in the move across town. You feel ashamed for not having better prepared her for this. And now you are stuck in transition between breast and bottle -- desperate to move forward because there is no going back.
The way I was trying to support him was trying to turn my son, who clearly lost, into a fake winner for the sake of his feelings. My words were discrediting the hard work and incredible efforts of the other five children who beat him by twisting the facts. I was subconsciously telling him that I was only proud of him if he was, indeed, a winner. I was trying to keep my kid from being a loser.
So my question to myself is my question to you: Are we as a society preparing our boys to become husbands and fathers . . . because prepared or not, the vast majority of them will get married, and they will create children.