What It Means to Be Sexy {Reflections of a Boudoir Photographer}

This editorial series, S-E-X, is brought to you by the Fort Worth Moms Blog and Andrea Palmer, MD FACOG with Fenom Women’s CareOur friends at Bodacious Boudoir sponsored and crafted this blog post for the S-E-X editorial series. All 15 original articles from the S-E-X series can be found on our website.

s-e-x series by dr. palmer and fenom 800 x 800Upon hearing the word sexy, many of us have an instant ideal in our minds about what it means. Maybe you picture Charlize Theron . . . or maybe someone you personally know who just exudes sexiness. Each woman has her own brand of sexy, and that can be hard to own, especially if you feel so different from what you instantly picture.

In my line of work as a boudoir photographer, many women tell me that they are not sexy, that they could not be sexy if they tried, or some equally untrue line. You are already sexy ladies, even if you don’t believe me.

Of course, we could talk all day about physical appearance and what is sexy, but really that’s just personal preference. Sexy is so much more than physical appearance! Sure, that’s part of it. But it’s definitely not the majority. Humor is sexy, intelligence is sexy, and — most important — self-acceptance is sexy!

The Purpose

We have all been through points where we feel so far from sexy (ahem . . . hello, pregnancy, childbirth, and post-birth body), low points where we really could use some more confidence and self-love. It really is important to feel and know that, without a doubt, you are sexy. Not because you need to be lusted after by a partner (even though that is wonderful too), but because being sexy makes you feel good about yourself.

We do things to take care of our bodies, like taking vitamins and exercising. But sometimes doing things that make you feel good about yourself is left off the to-do list. Learn something new, help someone who needs it, gift yourself something fun or out of the ordinary, or get away from the day-to-day routine. These are all things that foster feelings of being sexy, believe it or not.

Self-care is so important; it affects how we feel about ourselves, how we feel about/treat others, and our mental load. I’m the girl who shops online and fills her cart but doesn’t check out. My husband literally has to make me do things that are just for me, and tells me it’s okay to spend money on myself. It can be hard to justify spending money/time on yourself when you have littles at home who need you, a job, and/or other aspects of your life that demand attention.

But this is the reason boudoir photography resonates with me personally; it’s taking care of yourself, treating yourself to something special that you deserve, and definitely an out-of-the-ordinary experience. It does so much for self-acceptance, and in turn, makes you feel SEXY!

Brunette woman on chair Bodacious Boudoir sponsoredThe Process

Before I work with a client, we meet to discuss what she wants to gain from her session. It usually starts off with how nervous she is, or how she isn’t sexy, so I will “have my work cut out” for me. Then we talk about who she is as a person and what she’s comfortable with. On the day of the shoot, I am honestly always baffled by how this beautiful woman has missed out on how sexy she is. All the talking and getting to know each other we have done, and I can plainly see it. This is the best part of my job. I get to be the one to help HER see it! Yes, I know it’s super cheesy to say, but I truly mean it.

Revealing a client’s images to her is amazing because I get to see that moment when it clicks for her. That “OH MY GOSH . . . that’s me!” moment. (And no, I don’t alter body shape or change what a person looks like.) It’s my absolute favorite. You can see in that instant, she understands she is absolutely sexy.

So when I hear a woman tell me that she can’t be/won’t be/never will be sexy, it makes me sad! I want all of you to know that you are worthy of feeling sexy. Whatever it is that you love (or find hard to love) about yourself, embrace it! Accept it, foster it, and show it off. If you think that you can’t be sexy because you’re curvy, nerdy, or because you snort when you laugh . . . you couldn’t be more wrong. Those are the things that you can turn into what MAKES you sexy.

There’s no single thing that qualifies you as being sexy. Just accepting yourself is really enough.

Mary of Bodacious Boudoir in Fort Worth has been married to the most wonderful man for nine years; they have two beautiful daughters and one brand new son. She started out photographing families and children — and did so for about six years. She realized that, while families and kids were fun, she wanted to do something that felt meaningful (not that helping families have memories wasn’t). So she started offering boudoir. She describes it as a “perfect fit” for her professionally, and reports she’s doing exactly what she should be. The majority of Bodacious Boudoir’s clients are either moms, brides who want to give their grooms an extra special gift on the day of their wedding, or ladies who just want to treat themselves to something truly unique. Interested in a boudoir session of your own? Take a peek at the website, www.bodaciousboudoirphotography.com, look it up on Facebook, or give Mary a call at 682-325-8346 to set up your appointment.


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