There’s a commercial going around Facebook by a foreign Coke distributor showing a young couple finding out they are expecting. They are ecstatic. Then it begins to show clips of life with a growing child such as middle of the night feeding, toys everywhere, zero alone time, extreme increase in stuff to carry, little (and big) messes, keeping the child out of the pet’s food, etc. Then one day, she shows her husband a positive pregnancy test announcing she’s pregnant with baby #2. His initial response is that of utter terror, but it quickly turns to shouts of joy, and the family of three celebrates together.
I could watch this ad over and over again and every time both laugh and cry. It reminds me so much of the feeling my husband and I had when we found out we were expecting our baby #3. We had a three-year old and an 18-month old who had both turned our world upside down, for the better of course. We had just started slightly entertaining the idea of another little one but weren’t quite sure what that would do to our current family dynamic let alone how it would change the rest of our lives. Evidently, at our house it didn’t take much more than the mention of a baby for me to get pregnant, because next thing I knew I was holding up that pregnancy test in front of my husband in disbelief. Just like in that commercial, I knew that in spite of how crazy our lives had become having two, I was terrified and thrilled at the same time to see what was in store for us as a family of five.
I can honestly say that having baby #3 completely rocked my world as a young mom. We were outnumbered and unprepared. We didn’t live in the same town as any of our family, so my friends became family to us. I wouldn’t have gotten throughout it without them. In addition to just the normal adjustments, I was experiencing some postpartum reactions that I had not experienced with my other two. With the help of my dear friends and a small (temporary) amount of medication, I was able to get my hormones back and in functioning order. Even though at times I didn’t think it would be possible, we began to get the knack of toting 3 under the age of 4 around. It helped that I wasn’t afraid to get out and about on a regular basis, which kept me and my kids sane.
Now, as my kids are 12, 10, and 8, I couldn’t imagine life without 3 kids. Those rough first days and months may have seemed never-ending at the time, but now they are just a brief memory. Yes, we have had to make adjustments in the type of cars we choose to drive, and the way we sit in a restaurant, or how we book a hotel stay. But these have been pretty easy adjustments for us. My house may not be as neat and orderly as it once was, but I’ve come to accept a new standard of clean. Many people have said things like, “even numbers are easier”, but I would beg to differ. With three, my kids always have someone to play with, laugh with, and talk to. There are also just that many more hands to empty the dishwasher, fold clothes, and vacuum. And my favorite thing, there’s more arms for hugs, faces to kiss, and lives to touch. Each of my three has brought so much joy to our home and I couldn’t imagine life without each one of them.
What addition has been your hardest transition? Your first? One to Two? Two to three? More?
The transition from 1 to 2 kids has been the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. My now 2.5 year old is a challenging toddler and my now 13 month old is just now starting to entertain the idea of sleeping all night. We would like to have another, but I’m so scared! I feel like we’re just now starting to get our feet under us and move past survival mode into a little bit of normal. On the other hand, I really don’t see how the transition from 2 to 3 could possibly be more difficult than the transition we’ve just been through.
We just went from 2 to 3 last week. I really think it depends on the ages and spacing of all your children. Going from 1-2 was really hard for us because they were just a year and a half apart and I had PPD issues for the first few months. So far going to 3 has been easy (this first week anyway!) and I’m thinking it’ll continue to be a pretty smooth transition since my older two are 5 and 3.5 and pretty independent being so far past the baby/toddler stages. I also know what to look for if PPD signs start to show up again and know to seek treatment sooner rather than later.
The PPD definitely plays a factor as do the ages of your kids. I think all in all it’s going to be different for every family on which transition is the hardest. The beauty of it is that ther are going to be moms out there who can relate and help. Like I mentioned above, I couldn’t have made it without my friends, who were moms. A good and helpful spouse is important, and priceless, but it was my mom friends who could relate to what I was experiencing and walk with me through it.
0-1!!! We were totally unprepared for that. Ha. 2-3 was also super tough. We had our 4th four months ago, and so far so good! (Of course were exhausted but we’re hanging in there.)