One and Done


My husband and I have one beautiful little boy, and he will be our only child. When people find this out they are usually curious of our reasons and ask if we will change our minds eventually, but this was a decision we didn’t take lightly and prayed about for the first seven years of our marriage.

the beenesWe are definitely planners.  After we made our decision of wanting only one child, we still waited a few more years preparing ourselves to become parents.  My husband started his own business (we got that up and running).  We built up our savings and bought a home. Through all of this preparation and planning for our future it became even clearer to us that one child would complete our family.

We never had the pressures from our parents or siblings to start a family. In fact they all encouraged us to wait(not the case for everyone, I know). Growing up in large families and having 28 nieces and nephews, we  were in no hurry knowing our child would never be lonely with that many kids around.

We want to have the opportunity to send our son to a private Christian school (financially, multiple children in private education would be difficult). My husband works for himself and I carry the health insurance for our family.  I also work for a university with the benefit that our child can attend there, tuition-free if he chooses.  Me giving up my career was not something we could consider.  Since I work outside of the home, my time with our child is limited. Splitting those precious hours among multiple children would just seem impossible to me. It seems like families are busier than ever, especially with all the activities we participate in, and I didn’t want to be spread too thin where we would not be able to provide the quality time that every child needs and deserves.

We are the last of our siblings to have a child, so you could imagine the excitement when our parents found out we were finally going to give them another grand baby! And when both grandmothers offered to help watch him during the day, I knew I could leave each morning knowing they would do everything just like I would want – or better. (Grandparents are the best!)

Our son is now 2 years old and my husband is nearing 40.  He feels like he would be too old and out of shape to have another 🙂 We know that we made the right decision and can’t believe how blessed we are to have such a wonderful son. This witty, charming, smart, energetic, silly boy made me a mother and completed our family and for that I will always be grateful.

Every family has a unique situation and reasons for deciding on how big or small their family should be. I believe there is no right or wrong answer on family size, you have to choose if having 1 or 19 is best for your family dynamic.

 Have you chosen to only have one child? Do you find people are curious about your decision?


  1. Thank you for your post.My husband and I have decided to have only one child, she’s 10 and we still get questions about it.It was a decision we made together and at one time I wanted more children but it just wasn’t for us. We are a happy, complete family and I enjoy connecting with other mom’s of only children. We are just as much mom as any other!

  2. I really love this post. Thanks for sharing, Chastity! While my husband and I are not yet sure if our family is done growing, we too get questions all the time about “are you done?” and my response is usually related to not knowing for sure but being certain that if our 5 year old daughter is the only one, then God’s given us the perfect little family. Life is about choosing to be grateful for what you have. Blessings to you!

  3. Thanks for this post. We also have only one child (4 years old) and for all of the exact same reasons. And I usually find myself defending our decision instead of people embracing it. We have always only wanted one child and feel that our family is complete. It’s just so tough to be questioned all the time or to constantly be asked “when are we having another one…”

  4. We have only one child , she will be graduating from TCU in May. Our decision was not an easy one but it was the right one for us. She has been afforded many opportunities, had we had more children, she would not have had as many opportunities to enjoy traveling , studying abroad and attending the college of her choice. Each family has to make their own decision and one child was right for us!


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