Cheers to 2014

Clean slates. Fresh perspective.

One year folds into another, and we are each given a box of brand new crayons to color our pages any way we’d like.

January finds us all aglow with optimism, inspiration for newer, brighter, thinner, healthier versions of ourselves.

It is so easy to get tangled up in a list of resolutions: unrealistic expectations that we pin to our lapels like carnations. All proud, bright and cheery in the morning, drooping sadly by the end of the day.

I vow to never eat sugar again, and by supper I’ve eaten half a dozen rice krispy treats without thought.

I’ll exercise every day…until Wednesday, at which point I vow to start again on Monday.

2014 is a huge, glittery box filled with 365 individually wrapped days. We moms lose those days easily. They get tangled up with sleep deprivation and meal planning and soiled diapers. They drip with duty, and by the end of the year, we find ourselves wringing out our hands, wondering where the time has gone.

I’m going to do things a bit differently this year, and I wonder if anyone else will join in the challenge.

I’m going to try replacing goals with guidelines. Instead of spinning the resolutions web, I’ll build a pretty picket fence around what seems like mommy minutia, and try to remind myself what all the other “been-there” mothers seem to promise: Cherish every moment, because it all goes by too fast.

1. Be present.

I can’t tell you the moment it appeared, but I know it was some time towards the end of the second trimester of my first pregnancy. The fog settled sleepily into my brain, and it hasn’t lifted since.

I find myself in rooms wondering what I was looking for. Or after twenty minutes of staring at the morning news , I realize I couldn’t tell you a single headline.

I spend so much time mentally preparing for what’s NEXT in the day, I often miss out on what’s NOW.

In 2014, I’m going to be more mindful about the moments happening right around me. The smell of the lotion I’m rubbing into what has to be the softest skin ever. The sound of tiny feet tiptoeing into my room in the middle of the night. They won’t be doing that forever…right? Right????

I have to turn all of my senses back on. Remember what it feels like to be in awe of the world around me. Fortunately, I have two tiny people who are the perfect tour guides for such a journey.

2. Be on purpose.

One potential pitfall of this “guideline” approach is that guidelines are less measurable (and often less tangible) than goals. That means I’m going to have to be very strategic about what my overall purpose is. Parenthood is not for the faint-hearted. We’re teaching our kids to be members of society, so we have to be very intentional about the values we set as our cornerstone.

3. Be grateful.

A 2011 article in Forbes magazine estimated that stay-at-home moms should earn an average salary of $115,000. The numbers were based on a survey done by Salary.com, that averaged out how many weekly hours were spent devoted to laundry, cleaning, taxi-ing, cooking, etc. It’s easy to get bogged down in all of those tasks, most of which go unnoticed, unappreciated, and definitely unpaid. Neither of my boys have yet to say, “Hey, mom, that was an awesome diaper change…thanks!”

In order to ward off resentment, I’m going to be thankful for all the many blessings that come with the job. When I’m doing my 42nd load of laundry, I might notice how tiny the little clothes are and realize that one day they’ll no longer fit on the sweet miniature hangers. Instead of bemoaning the inevitable mess of bath time, I’ll be thankful for running water and soft towels, and I’ll breathe a silent prayer of gratitude every time I’m able to buy enough groceries for my family to eat until satiated.

4. Be me.

I’m not a soccer mom. I don’t even necessarily know what that means. What I do know is that it is so very easy to fall prey to comparison. The mother that always has makeup on when she drops her kid off at preschool can be a little intimidating, not to mention the mom with four perfectly behaved children that can sit through an entire church service without so much as a sneeze. I do good to get out of my yoga pants some days, and yet I’ve been to first birthday parties that rival post-Oscar affairs. The bottom line is, I can only be me. I am not the perfect parent, but I AM the perfect parent for my kids, and that is a toast to Cheers.

What changes will 2014 bring for you?