Recently, my social media news feed has been inundated with posts that remind me that I was a child of the 80s, that I was raised in a Charismatic church, or that no matter how far away I move, I will always be a Midwest girl at heart.
These days, I’m feeling much less like a product of my past, and much more like a poster girl for parenthood. To remind all you Cowtown Mamas that you’re not alone…
You know you’re a mom when:
1. You are more likely to forget your wallet than your baby wipes.
2. You can empathize, if just for a moment, with parents who accidentally leave their kids in the car.
3. You’ve bribed someone at a non-drive through Starbucks to bring you coffee.
4.Your husband unloading the dishwasher is more of a turn on than anything you might have seen on the premium channels.
5. You use a flat-iron to get wrinkles out of clothes.
6. Your DVR is set to record Sesame Street, Daniel Tigers Neighborhood, and Wife Swap.
7. Your sexiest fantasy is about sleep.
8. You can no longer taste the difference between coffee and water.
9. You consider buying stock in Puffs.
10. Your Pandora stations include Toddler Tunes, Lullaby Radio, and Slam My Head Against the Wall Beats.
11. You consider a good game of hide and seek the perfect opportunity to take a shower.
12. You can change a diaper on one kid while nursing another one, all while paying a bill over the phone.
13. Knowing your kids are terrified of the vacuum, you turn it on just to sneak a few minutes in the bathroom by yourself.
14. Your google history consists of “allergic reactions to air”, “what to do if toddler ingests tea tree oil”, “how to remove gum from the couch”, and “how to discipline temper tantrums without causing permanent damage”
15. Gummy bears count as a serving of fruit.
16. You ask for a day off for Christmas.
17. You give yourself credit for working out just because you’ve survived a day home alone with the children and you happen to be wearing yoga pants.
18. Trying to take a family picture usually involves tears.
19. You keep “fluffling” the clothes in the dryer to keep from having to fold them.
20. You don’t care how far you have to park, so long as you’re next to the shopping carts.
21. A special occasion means you don’t have to bring a diaper bag.
22. You know what it feels like to have your heart walking around outside of your body.
23. Commercials make you ugly cry.
24. You’ve got those little bodies memorized: every bump, birthmark and curve, the softness of their skin and the way their hair fuzzes up in the back when they sleep.
25. You’ve never been prouder when someone asks the question, “So…what do you do?”
Shoulders rise. Smile widens..…”I’m a mom.”
Tell us, you know you’re a mom when…..
19,20!!
When retail theraphy consist of shopping for groceries and skimming sales racks at Target!