I was troubled on how to start writing this. Pain is a difficult subject to address, especially when the pain is caused by someone you love.
One day a young lady, named Mary (identity protected), unexpectedly arrived at my sister’s home. She was ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door persistently. My sister opened the door and to her surprise found her friend beaten and bruised. Mary’s face was swollen. She was crying and very emotional. My sister did not know what to do for her. She applied an ice pack to the bump on her forehead and gave her something to drink. Mary finally disclosed who attacked her.
It was her boyfriend. He seemed like a very nice guy when we met him. He seemed to bring happiness to Mary’s life. She seemed in love with the perfect guy. Little did we know, he often raised his hand to harm to her. It was hard to believe he ever loved her looking at the aftermath of his anger.
At this point, my sister wanted to call the police. Mary insisted not to. She didn’t want to involve the cops, she said. My sister asked Mary to spend the night at her home, but Mary wanted to go home. She text my sister when she made it home safely. I am so grateful to God that Mary never went back to her boyfriend. She ended the relationship and began counseling.
Oftentimes as women, we just want trouble to go away. We are private and do not want to disclose such a devastating situation as domestic violence.
But my message is clear: Please let someone in.
No matter the type of relationship you are in — married or dating — it is your choice to leave. Know there is someone who cares and will be there to help. In Mary’s case, I suppose the level of injury that night was worse than before. She had a limit and had reached her limit. She was ready to let someone know. She was ready to let someone in. She chose my sister to confide in. She seemed ashamed and down on herself for what had taken place. My sister reassured Mary it was not her fault and that she did the right thing by letting her know. She did the right thing by letting my sister help. I am glad that Mary didn’t have to go through that moment alone. Mary was also thankful to my sister for not casting judgement upon her and being there as a great friend.
In the United States, one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. Most cases of domestic violence are never reported. If you or someone you know are victims of domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 for help and other resources. Find more resources for help HERE.
Please know that it is okay not to be okay. Let someone in. Let someone help.