When my son was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, my life changed in so many ways I could never have imagined. We went from just living a life of our own to inviting total strangers into part of our life — a whole care team at that — for whom we are forever grateful.
Although I couldn’t have asked for any better support joining in on this part of our journey onto a road of recovery, it has not been easy for this mom. But I’m planning for us to to get through this season with the many different challenges we may face. Parenting through this season, I have found it to be one of the most challenging and insightful. One thing for sure: It has reminded me why we are not meant to do life alone, so I thought I’d share some insights thus far.
Self-Care
I have found there is no excuse for not taking care of you — whether you’re single or not. You are your children’s strength and their “MVP.” Your top priority should be your health and physical being. It’s important you are able to parent and be there for your children in the best way possible. It’s taking time to go for a walk and breathe as well as planning outings without the kids — and this is okay and nothing to be ashamed of.
I have found myself enjoying reading and podcasts as another outlet to receive inspiration and motivation. But also being able to let my thoughts run free on paper through journaling is one of my favorites as well. Quiet time or feel-good music to get through the day and long nights. Find joy in life when at times it is hard. I believe finding positivity is key for you and your kids. Remember they are counting on you.
Involvement and Connection
Taking time to talk with a friend over the phone or a cup of coffee is always great. Talking to someone other than your family members is important as well. Friends who can connect, relate, and understand what you’re going through is a plus because you can exchange insights and also share what has or hasn’t been working out. You are able to empathize but also know how to be sensitive and when space is needed.
Having family there to assist in any way possible is always is a plus when receiving some devastating news or when your child is having a procedure or major surgery. Sometimes a listening ear is far better than a word ever being spoken.
Self-Improvement
Let go of all your expectations, take each day as it comes, and try not to worry. Take time to reflect; admit and acknowledge that some things just don’t go as planned. You’re going to make plenty of decisions or mistakes, but forgive yourself and try again. Remove self from the equation — and shame. There are times when you’re going to need help. Coming from someone who has always done everything by her self or always made a way . . . don’t be afraid to ask, and don’t miss out on an opportunity for assistance.
Another thing is that your mindset and perspectives will begin to shift. You don’t think or make certain moves like once before. Parenting isn’t perfect. In fact, it is an upbringing and a constant learning experience from one child to the next. Give yourself grace, reassurance, and patience. Everything will work out, even when it seems as if all is lost.
